I was wondering for a few moments as to how exactly should I begin this letter - whether it should be Dearest Friend , Dear Friend , just a casual Hi or a rather cold Hello ? I was sitting here at the table with my pen paused at the top of the letter as if frozen in time. That is because I still don't know at this point where we stand now. The breakup was rather too abrupt for me. There are times in life when you don't get to say a proper goodbye. I had never even in my wildest dreams imagined that I would have to say goodbye to you one day. So you can imagine what pain it must have been for me to know that our roads in life separated without a proper farewell. I don't know what you think about it , my friend. And though I would like to find out , I guess, it is too late now.

Still I know one thing that you will always be a dearest one to me - farewell or no farewell. Hope you don't have any objections to me calling you dearest for I had enjoyed that privilege when we were best friends. Hope things haven't changed that much.

Can you see that the paper that I am using to pen this letter to you is light blue with tiny pink flowers in the top and bottom right corner ? That's the color you like the most. I like it too.I had been at our college recently. I stood in front of the college office door and almost could hear you say in that soft voice of yours "Excuse me , where can I get the admission form?".I had turned around in time to see you smile and I had noticed that you have a cute pair of dimples. I had never imagined then that you would be a talkative girl though. But that's what you definitely were. And you had this child's innocence towards the whole world. I was a naive boy too then but I was wary of people and unlike you thought twice before believing someone. Remember how many times I must have chided you for believing everyone so easily ? You never changed though. Have you changed now ? I hope and seriously pray that you haven't. For sometimes I feel it does not hurt to be a little innocent. Ironic , isn't it that I should say so ? Do you know that I used to chide you to be a little cautious because I was worried about you getting hurt by trusting someone who was not trustworthy enough ? I never meant to dominate you though you accused me of that when we last saw each other.

A thousand thoughts must have zoomed past my mind when I stood there in front of the door to our classroom. I remembered when our entire group had sneaked out of the classroom one day when the teacher was a bit late in reaching the classroom. We wanted to go and watch some movie.We came out of the classroom and saw the teacher coming from the opposite direction but we all had enough presence of my mind to duck into the nearby classroom which fortunately for us was empty. How we thanked God for such a narrow escape!!!! Do you remember the following day's evening when we sat on the steps of the college arguing about the movie which was a typical love triangle ? Do you still watch such movies ? As far as I am concerned, I am no longer interested in them. Real life is very different from the reel life.Not everyone lives happily ever after!

And when the last fading rays of the setting sun bathed all the plants in our college in a royal golden light , I almost choked at the sight for was it not the same scene that had mesmerized us so many times when we all would go home after the last lecture of the day ? I can still see all our group at the junction where people going to suburbs would head straight for the train station, you would turn to the right for your bus stop and me to the left. The two of us would always stand there right in the middle of the road even when the rest of the crowd was gone and talk for not less than half an hour if my memory serves me right. Others always used to wonder what we talk about. But we never found a dearth of subjects. I then started coming to the bus stop which was bang opposite your bus stop so we could talk till your bus came along and then I would cross over to the other side of the road for my bus....after waving goodbye to you. You always managed to find a window to wave back at me despite the crowd in the bus. Why it is then that you did not wave back when we parted our ways for what now seems like forever ?

We learnt quite a few things together though, important things that only life can teach you and that meant growing up - from students who came to the college wondering little about life and concerned more about having fun to the ones who knew eventually that life is a long journey where the destination is unknown and that everyone has to chart out their own course but no one makes it alone. I can't still erase from my memory the day when we went to a friend's place whose dad had passed away all of a sudden. And I can never forget the look on your face when we heard his mother cry out the moment we stepped inside his house. We all knew in our hearts that death is an inescapable truth but for us it always seemed to be the thing to be dealt with only by the adults. Hadn't we all seen our parents go to offer their condolences ? It had never occured to any of us that we will find ourselves doing the same one day. I bet we were - all of us - ready to turn back and anxious to get away from the shadow of death. But we did not - for we cared for our friend and because......because we all wanted to grow up. I went home that day with all kinds of emotions - sad for our friend , horrified at the stark nakedness of the truth called Death, refusing to believe that we all share the same fate, wondering when it is going to be my turn , angry that God should snatch away someone so cruelly and helpless at the hands of the unknown called the Destiny. I have felt helpless so many times in life after that , Friend , but that was the first time.

I am sitting here at the table by the window and the sun looks beautiful at the time it is setting. I have always loved it since I was a child but it kind of makes me sad now-a-days, its slanting rays remind me of so many invisible bonds still tugging at my heart. One of my other friends had told me once - you like so much to be in past. I said - yes , but do you know the reason ? That is because so many people I have loved and cared for are there. I know life would soon become too heavy to carry on with so many things chaining you to the past. That is why I am releasing this chain today and I don't have any other witness than this setting sun and a few wandering clouds in my piece of the sky.

It does not mean that I am no longer your friend. It just means that I have now given wings to our friendship. If at any point in life by using these wings should you find yourself at the same crossroads where we got separated , I promise you that you will find me there.

Till then , it is adios Dearest Friend.

Yours,